i have learnt to be careful in life now
slowly life is getting back to track
i have quit the dance scene for NOW
simply too much controversies
2 face plastics but
no one to be blame
i made this decision myself
i'll be back after a long time
with better motivating people
friends come and go
new friends pop in
i have learnt to accept whatever that comes into life (:



work has been really great
only sometimes
police politics and issues
but better than ever
all this can be solved
we can talk till all are settled eh

yesterday 13/07/2008
went out with Nur,Fayumi,Hafiz,Fendy
went shopping
spent around $200
dont want to estimate la..
bought a nike shoe
and topman bag
enough spending for me
thats all
tired.
to that someone
we may not be contacting
maybe Its better that way
but get well soon aye :)

nur.
thank u for everything okay
thanks brother

i longed for someone like her :)

First and Foremost
Its 13 July 2008
I wanna wish
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO SHADA
best wishes from me to u
semoga panjang umur murah rezeki sihat selalu
hope it would be a memorable birthday for u
be happy always
i have u a lil present :)
serious
sorry for everything
meet up soon love
stay strong with rais allright
take care
happy birthday to u
*da boleh beli rokok la*

enough is enough
i am quiting
simply because i am too busy with work
i love u guys by the way
meet up soon

i am sorry for being such a jerk
but i do understand your whole situation aye
it takes time and slowly u can move on
in fact,it took me a long time but eventually i did
even though i cause hatred to some
but life has to go on
and i am gonna keep going strong here
no one can destroy my life except for myself
and i found out when i was a dancer
some dancers are two muthafucking plastic
hypocrates and stuffs
not mentioning who
sape terasa.
dielah org nye
definitely not my ladies or guys
i don't wanna create anymore trouble down here
enough is enough
getting my life back to track aye

titi
i am sorry alright
u take good care of yourself
i am just a call away
period!


Last but Not Least
happy 46th birthday to my dearest mama
semoga panjang umur murah rezeki sihat selalu
i love u
happy 15th birthday to my dearest baby bro adil
semoga panjang umur murah rezeki sihat selalu
i love u so much
miss my danial so much
peace.
all the best to fis dancers for K.L competition

my blog is where i really express everything in my life
something u might not know about my life
i maybe wrong in certain parts of life but certainly
i got the guidance from a lot of people
i found something on
070708
something that cause my legs rooted to the grounded
my heart pounded fast as if i am running 2.4km
my reactions become vulnerable
became uncertain
i looked as if i am lost with different directions to go
and to choose from
but i know what my heart wants
i maybe wrong but i learn from my mistakes
and setbacks
this entire post has been dedicated to someone that cause a spark of brighter light is my life
a gorgeous lady with a attitude
'i like'
the meet up yesterday was indeed a beautiful one
hearing u babble here and that shows
me a different thinking of what u are
i thought u were a heartbreaker
show stopper
but i was wrong and i am sorry
its the person that u got attached to and mix to that really changes u
now i agreed with my friends that getting into a relationship with someone
can really change a person's character
i have to agreed on that
i feel that u were the rose among the thorns
it didn't wasted any of my breath talking to u
i know how u felt about the past and
i swear i could feel u because we have gone through the same trauma
but i don't want to rake up the past
life has to go on
i kept thinking why it happens to me
but now i have found out the truth
only setbacks can make me a matured person
i admit i like u
i admit u made me want to start a lovely and healthy relationship
u made me want to have a second try in love
i really want to give it a good shot
i don't wanna the past be a repeat in my life
i have lost trust in girls
but u just made me a good excuse for me to start anew
i am gonna keep us discreet because i don't want
a relationship breaker to strike again
i really want to make u happy
i really want to make it happen
i really want u to to know me better
but
u have to accept for who i am
and by being myself that can really make it last
i accept whatever flaws u have and negativities
but that doesn't deterred or prevent me from getting you
i felt its hard knowing i have nothing
but i really hope u have a little heart
that is place for my love to pour in
it may be early but i rather be honest now with u
meeting up with u was the best thing yesterday
and
*u are my sweetest drug*
u made me just the person i was last time
even better
thanks to my bestie
but i am really afraid of your acceptance in having me in your life
but i wanna take it slow

i want u to know u are the sweetest thing on earth
let's put your past and my past behind
let's become good friends and knowing our characteristics better
i am willing to give myself a chance
i hope u are too
i hope by taking 2hours blogging about this would somehow give it a good way
here is a little poem that i have searched and edited myself. :)

Don’t know if you already know
That here I am having a crush on you,
It may seem a little crazy but it’s true
If you will know what will I do?

Though you’re not exactly my ideal woman
‘Coz you’re kind of weird or a crazy one,
Still you’re my crush ‘coz for me you are one of a kind
This is my poem, for you I wrote. and edited

Somehow this feeling will soon disappear
‘Coz it’s just a crush and not something deeper,
Only admiration that everyone feels
Not just for teenagers but for grown ups as well.

Time will come I will like you more
As I won't let this admiration be drowned to the shore
My only wish is your acceptance and decision
A simple remembrance I will surely treasure
i know it is hard but
love is a special thing that bring us together
but setbacks are here to make us stronger

to my sweetest drug

i hope u would be touched what i have done

don't shed a tear because i am gonna be the the tissue that wipes the sadness in your face

do give me a chance to know u and be in your life

take care sweetheart.
i am always here for u
-hykell-

to that certain someone
we may not have met
but our eyes gazed for a moment
we might not share a moment
but we have not met yet
i could feel your downpour
I'll be your your key to happiness
i know how it feels to have gone through
this phrase of life
its very hard
considering the great moments
but life has to go on
its too short for all this
i am sorry i couldn't be there
maybe its fated that we managed to become friends yesterday
u have hafa who is my bestie love
u have me and the rest too
just be strong and get through all this shits allright
i am here just for u
i don't know if the song is great for your heart
but i just felt like doing something for u
I'll be here always aye
stay strong and smile for me
i knew u would
=)


bye bye


to my dearest bestie and that special someone
NoorHafawatiSweetie
u would always have me to pour out your feelings
be strong and smile always
appriecate what u have no
don't cry because i am gonna wipe that tears for u
bestie love
between hykell & Hafa would last
only God can determine our friendship
i have faith in u
stay sincere always
be honest with yourself
with much love-hykell
when u get caught in the rain

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say-ay-yeah-yeah-hey-ey-yeah

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
( oh Yes you can)
You're gonna make it through the rain...

this is what i am gonna blog about
i don't freaking care if u guys wanna have grudges against me
i would be very straight forward here
say what u want
but i myself know what is good for me
even if my decisions are bad
let me learn then

as some people knows about the feud i had with Ex's family
who started fire?
don't wanna admit
i at least admit i was rude with my words
but at least i don't go around telling about your bad side anymore
i thought its over and done with
but yet your precious one wants to keep putting shoutout and stuff
what for?
it bring u more harm like seriously
all this while
i have been really nice to the family
although life is not what i wanted
but from my view
its not what u guys wanted
u guys sometime created the hatred to hate me
i don't jeopardize your affair
its already good enough eh
so think before u say something
miss ex
i was very dissapointed with u
but what can i do?
u wasn't like this when i was with u?
u were such a sweet girl
but then u see now?
forget it
to your precious one
i would like to meet u soon
i want to clarify everything
there is no use of tagging and stuff
meh jumpe meh
your fellow bloggers think i am wrong
thanks to u guys
about richness
i am not jealous or what
but i am telling u straight
but easier say then done
i dont wish to elaborate her
because i am tired uh of this crumpled shits
to me
u are just an obstacles to pass away
those setbacks that have to pull away
yes
i admit
your boyfriend is everything to u
i am happy for u then
but never mind
things are really great for u
because u guys are still new
try being me after 10 months
maybe u guys can last
i dont wanna hope
i may hate u for life
but i never want to give u a hard life
that's not me
if not happy
we can meet
no use goign around bad mouthing about me and getting support
this is not a talent show aye
so literally u were at fault
and my fault was to blog about what i felt
so yeah
don't tell me u are sorry coz u are not
that was quite a show
really entertaining
&
its not wrong for my brother to fight for me
he knows whether i am wrong or not
but at least he knows i care
and he didnt hide behind the screen
coz he knows the meaning of this crumpled shits
period?
tak happy?
meh jumpe meh
..


to that certain someone
stop your nonsense la
no wonder alot of guys are tired of u
only one person can make u dead
seriously
i have heard a lot about u
u are just damm bloody hypocrate
full of drama and politics
no wonder your babies followed u

CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG
stop adding fire to people's life okay
don' think u are hawtstuff because u are not that
oklay
can make it
maybe 55%?
dont make your life as if u owned the world
u used to someone i adore
but not anymore
life has change
it changed me so much
that i just need a few to complete my daily bliss
u cause so much sadness in our lives
but u are so happy now
we see about that aye
i have nothing against u
but stop whatever u are doing now
better have work to do

thank u sister shikin for the advices
i owed u one for that
and u are just the best part in my life

i am seriously confused
trying to become into someone better
and i did achieve in 55%
there is more to go
but people won't let me live in peace
those are my weakness
my setbacks
my flaws
all i need now is support from people i can call friends
maybe now
i can count who are my friends
randomly 5 or less
it is much better
since friends who i though would last go off just like that
i would just keep changing for the better
u may hate
u may like
its up to individual
period


i need u like a rain needs its thunder
to the sister in the west
i need your guidance
please help me aye
i need your family guidance too



i know till now
anger lingers around u
i cant say much but i would like to see u
to let u know what i felt this while
maybe from there
u understand better
i may be a negative person to U
but have u ever think about my feelings
yeah
your loved one is really happy right now
a blissful affair and i don't wish to harm it
coz i KNOW how it feels like
people may be hating me
but have they ever come up to me and ask why?
no!
simply they jump to conclusions like this
i did change after 4months of NS and 1 month in division
i don't need this little dust to destroyed it
sorry for my comment
u are a just like a mum to me too
please at least let me have a chance to explain myself
after that
u wont see me anymore
anytime u wont!
peace

blog has been updated at 0544am 3rd july 2008

it wasn't meant for u
but your precious one thinks its for u
i am sorry for my words
i was too angry
i stated there already
i didn't want to start the fire
but then blame keep coming back to me
i have nothing to say anymore
just back out from my life

its my off day now
Tuesday and wednesday
i am feeling very shag
due to the excessive workloads
but nothing to complain about
because i love my job
great friends and all
who needs enemies when u got them?
i slept like a log the day before that
was working the night shift that day and
i slept 9am-7pm
and that kept me fresh throughout

So let's see what did i do today
010708
i got myself GST $150
thanks to Mr government
and i still have savings to last now
alhamdulilah
need to buy the essential things
bought it but won't put the price here
hehs.
then went online around 12plus
bestie love name is ifah
she chatted with me and like was having a big problem
so i suggest we meet up & we did
pick her up at eunos around 6pm and
made our way to Bugis to chill at starbucks
getting prettier by a minute
head over heels sekejap.
hahs.
she was telling her obstacles in life
especially about love life
hey girl
this is some words for someone who don't really appreciate u

this words is already enough to make u wake up
whatever it is
be strong allright
u have me
i have u
i want u to be a little motivated now
take things as it comes
i have a bad relationship too
but its both parties fault
i can't just blame on her alone
it takes two to tango
:P
so gave her my advices
and she going to made a decision to cool down first
u have me ya
so as we were chatting,
one of my colleagues
hambali came by and say hi
and Nur & Hafiz came by to meet me
as i need to pass keys to Nur
so we chatted for almost 3 hours and after that
pack up and leave

brother love
:)
hey brother
thanks for everything
we are from different path but i do
want to thank u for the simple reasons
take a chill allright.

life is fine as it seems
sailing smoothly
a big thank u to aiyee and family
for the guidance
especially kakak who have been there for me
to laugh at my jokes aje!!
hesh