Wednesday, October 8, 2008
{ 9:52 PM }
Release me from this curse I'm in
Trying to maintain but I'm strugglin'
this is what i felt afterall
even when looking at the gist of it
i have yet to grown fully
sometimes we leave problems unattended
and it gets bigger without realizing it
in this case here
i would like to say out what if felt
after reading aishah's blog
firstly i am sorry for my words but i did that due to
i can't take it with your sarcasm at times but u don't felt it
but i don't wish to pursue the matter
and since u did put in a nice way
i wanted to do the same
but at least u message me in a very nice wear
this is what you wrote
"hey my dear,read your blog and tell me whatever it takes to settle the problems.I've had enough of losing friends. BUt if that is what u want then thank u for what u have done this far"
replying to this i shall say
"its great u did bother to blog and tell me or anyone who happens to flood your blog to know what's going on.
Alhamdulilah,at least right now i know your heart contents and all and w/out punishing anyone,we can settle in a mutual terms,
its hari raya and we shouldn't be having any conflicts.
i am not trying to blame anyone here or to rake up the past
remember when we go my ex-house during raya last year
we had conflicts but we settle it between young hotnesz
ain.k.kay.may.haikel.aiyee
we settle it even though at times we felt like giving up
we go through thick and thin together
YOU were always there for me
i cant denied that fact
way before we get to know Shada Aty Fee Shahrul
but things started to change when new people came in
new character came in
even when i was going through the hardest times
people starts to fade away from me
slowly i regained my confidence and life
some people who came to my aid when i fall down
they picked me up
telling me"haikel,not all friends can be there for u but we are here,we are helping u we are in the same road going through different shits together,U should be strong and don't cry but instead tell yourself this are obstacles that made you a better person.Allah would never give his followers a test that a follower cant carry with his bare hands,in this case i managed to carry it with me and i did fall down agaon but i kept standing up to finish the race"
i was thankful to this bunch of people and i thank Allah for his guidance
although at times i didnt pray and disobeying his rules.
i know u went through a very hard time and i couldn' say anything because i dont really fe;t what u felt
but maybe one day i would be worse than u if my loved ones were to go from this world
thats the reason why i didnt talk much because i am scared it would come back to me
i have nothing against anyone in Young Hotnesz or Groove Hotnesz or Versatile Rythmm Affair
we went through alot more when we were in young hotnesz
bbecause we do really care for everything that happens
maybe in GH or VRA we much more heck care because we are too busy with our own days of a life
i am having good friendship with Shada Aty Shahrul K.Kay Fee
because i do have the same thinking like u
why should ahve grudges against u
as for u and shada
let's just put it this way
let the matter rest
or maybe its better this way
now everything that happens
really wakes me up
NS is great thing for me
it makes me mixes with the friends who are much more the era of maturity
not dancers.not hanging around town types or mat/minahs.
i have a understanding Team Leader and friends too
i learn everytime i bleed
but i want people to tell me if i go wrong somewhere
i am open minded and i can be smart and stupid at the same time
aishah
i hope all is gonna be well for all of us
US refers to haikel.aiyee.shada.Fee.K.kay.Shahrul
and whoever felt that we or them have grudges
well absoutely NO my dears.
tahnk for taking the time to read and i hope all of us dapat petunjuk allah
amin.
i am good terms with anyone who wish to be nice to me
i can be two face for a reason too my friends
but now i really want this obstacles to go away and bye bye
but all this made me a stronger person
for example
and before i say this
i am not creating another phenomeneon
during the break up
i really wanted to turn someone else
i want to hate all the girls but i think again
and i am scared to start to start a relationship with girls
being phobia and afraid to take the risk
when it happen to me
i felt like just fucking around with girls
and i did with 2 ..
i am not trying to boast around but this is what i learn
each time i wanted to start anew
either me or the other party would back out :(
but now i ahve learn to take things as it comes and to sought advices and thankfully i got a brother who always advises me and now i am madly drunk in love(although i am not drunk) :P
i just hope if i were to have a girlfriend,
i just hope people around me and my ex to pray for my happiness and i am not begging but a simple request
i amybe dumb and immature in the past but people changed for the better
to someone who called herself the GREAT (purely and definetly noy sarcastic)
i swaer by the moon ...... :P
i seriously like u although we did met at esplanade but didnt communicate
i am sure that u were my everyday bliss till today
and i hope it shall stay on
i really want u to know my feelings are developing
u are nice sweet and "gaji i belum masuk okaaayyy"
(:
i just hope things would take a turn for the best and realy hope there is guidance for u
no matter what
u know i am here with a special umbrealla that protects u and a shoulder to cry on okay aku macam merepek but aku serious la seh :)
i couldn't wait for a meet up
some people asked me if i am ready
well,i shall touch my heart when i am ready
but now the GREAT is my everyday bliss :)
i simply pray and hope u are not the one cheating my love
and yeah
in fach ua re my lil shawty and imma be your nigga
:)
p/s everyone forgive me if i were wrong in certain parts.
once again selamat hari raya
maaf zahir dan batin
and to that someone
i love the way u smile and your laughter
lingers everytime i go to sleep
butterflies whenver u text me
<3>
