step
1 Remember we are all different. It’s easy to forget that not everyone thinks and functions the same. Don’t expect everyone to react to situations in the same way. For example, where one person may laugh off an insult another may be hurt for days. If we keep in mind that we all may react differently to different situations, we may be better equipped to be more considerate of people's feelings.
Step2
Don’t jump to conclusions. Stop and consider reasons why someone may be behaving a certain way. If someone doesn’t return your friendly hello and smile in the
grocery store
, it’s easy to immediately think, ‘what a @*#%’. However, what could be perceived as rude could actually be the result of anxiety, depression, or just a bad day.
Step 3 .Empathize. Try to relate to others. For example, most of us have been in a hurry before and done something on the road that probably irritated another driver. However, we seem to forget that when another driver does the same to us. Using empathy, we can relate back to our own behavior and experiences and use it to try to understand rather than become angry with others.
Step4
Demonstrate understanding. Although we do not have to like or agree with what some people may do, we can attempt to understand why they do what they do. Lets say someone demonstrates behavior that would imply that he or she really is not a very nice person. There are probably reasons that this person behaves that way. For a more extreme example, again and again studies show that men who were abused as children are more likely to become abusers themselves. This is not ‘making excuses’ for someone’s behavior; it is simply trying to understand it.
Step5
Remember this simple rule of human behavior; People do the best they can at that moment in time. This one can be difficult to understand in the context that it is used but once it clicks, it makes perfect sense. For example, if someone is an alcoholic and they lose their job as a result of it, they are doing the best they can at that moment in time. If they could have done better they would have.
Step6
Finally, show compassion. If someone appears to be rude and unkind maybe they have had a difficult life, maybe they are or have been abused, or maybe they just got a very unwanted diagnosis. That’s the thing, we don’t know. Someone who doesn’t act very nice probably doesn’t feel very good inside either. Be compassionate. Be friendly anyway, and be thankful that you don’t feel they way that they appear to feel on the inside.
